Click for the 'Parent and Child Consultant' handout

FAQ - Child Consultants

Child's Questions​

Why am I Going to See a Child Consultant?

Your parents have been to the Family Relationship Centre to help them decide on plans for the future. They will be thinking about what children need from both their parents when they are not living together. Some of the decisions they are making will affect you, so it is important to hear what you think as well.

​What is a child consultant?

​Child consultants are people who speak to children on their own first before meeting with parents to think about plans for the future. Consultants help parents to understand how children feel sometimes - By speaking with children the consultant can get an idea about what is going well and whether some things are not working out as well. Sometimes a child has information about their feelings that they would like the consultant to tell their parents. Lots of children see child consultants.

What happens next?

Your parents will speak to you about coming in to see a child consultant. If you agree, they will make a time for you to come. They also decide who will bring you in and take you home afterwards.
The child consultant understands that children might feel worried about what to say. Separation can be confusing sometimes for everyone. You will not have to choose between your parents or how their plans will be in the future. That will be for them to decide.

What will happen when I come in?

• The child consultant will talk with you on your own about what has happened and what it's been like for you
  
• If you are feeling happy, confused worried or sad, you can let the child consultant know.
  
• If there is anything you want your parents to understand, the child consultant can let them know
  
• The child consultant will only pass on to your parents how things are for you and the things that you choose to say.
  

Who gets to know what I say?

​Sometimes it helps parents make good decisions when they know how children are really feeling about things.
If the child consultant is worried that you are not safe (or that someone is hurting you in some way), they will need to speak to someone about that.

​What if I want to talk to someone again?

​If you found it helpful to speak to the child consultant and you think that it might be good to get the chance to talk about things again, make sure you let someone know.
The child consultant can help your parents organise someone you can talk to on a regular basis about being you and getting used to changes in your family.
​
​

Parent's Questions

Why My Child Is Seeing a Child Consultant?

​During your Family Dispute Resolution session, your practitioner may have discussed with you the idea of speaking directly with your child or children. This process, called child informed practice, aims to assist parents in planning for their children after separation. During this time, many children also find it helpful to talk to a child consultant about how they are finding the separation and any changes affecting them. The purpose of the child consultation is to hear their feelings and experience in a brief, supportive process suitable for each child. This is different to ongoing counselling. Relevant and important information from the child’s meeting with the child consultant is always discussed with both parents at a future appointment, arranged with your practitioner. Children do not attend their parent’s feedback session and are never asked to make decisions. Including your child will only happen with your consent to the process and also if your child is willing for this to happen. What happens next?

What happens next?

Once both parents have given their consent, the practitioner will arrange for the child consultant to speak with both parents by phone. An appointment will then be made for the child to meet the child consultant. Siblings may attend their appointment together and each child will spend some individual time with the child consultant. The parent who agrees to bring children to their appointment will wait and take them home afterwards. After the child appointment, a time will be arranged where the child consultant will discuss feedback with both parents in the presence of the practitioner. They will not provide a written report but may present drawings or ideas that represent the feelings of your child. Anything your child has requested remain confidential will not be shared with you at the feedback session. We often find that when parents hear specific feedback from their child about how the changes in their family are affecting them, it helps them in deciding the best possible plans for their children.

How can I prepare my child for this appointment?

It is important that your child has a good understanding of why they will be meeting a child consultant.

You may want to let your child know the following:

• The child consultant is there to help you and to help your parents understand your feelings
• We are trying to make some plans for the future but really want to know what you think about that too - We are all very interested in how you feel about what has been happening in the family
• You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to say to the child consultant but if you are feeling worried or sad, you can let them know
• You don’t have to choose between time with either of us.
• If there is anything you want us to know, the child consultant can help pass this on
• If there is anything you don’t want us to know, that is okay too

What if my child needs ongoing support?

The child consultant will discuss considerations for your children with both parents after speaking with the children. Sometimes this will include suggestions for further support or counseling.
​
When parents agree, a referral can be made for children and parents to be assisted to manage any worries or concerns.