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Spending Time With Children

16/12/2016

13 Comments

 
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​When children’s parents do not live together the time they spend with each of their parents is precious.  
 
Parenting Agreements outline what parents decide will be best for their children and is manageable by each parent.  Whatever the family situation, children should be able to spend quality time with each of their parents, whether their parents live together or apart. 
 
Quality Time Spent Together
No matter what your Parenting Agreements, the way you choose to spend time with your children is more important than the amount of time you have with them. What is most important to your kids is that they feel happy, loved and safe.

As your children will carry memories of the things you do together for their entire life, there are many things you can do to create positive memories. When your kids are with you, take time to do fun things. Kids enjoy doing creative things that work their imaginations, so the things you do together don't have to be extravagant or expensive. Some creative and healthy ways to spend quality time together may include: 
  • Playing different kinds of games  -whether it's a board game or a new, creative game that spark your kids' imagination. Let them choose the games you play, even if it's a silly game that they just made up in their minds. This is a great opportunity to indulge in some silliness with your kids, which they are sure to enjoy.
  • Building or fixing things together. This could include putting together a large puzzle or model, or it could include fixing up some rooms around your house by painting or re-decorating. By constructing or improving something together, you and your kids will have a chance to work together and bond over this experience. 
  • Cook together, whether it's a simple dinner or a special meal. This is probably something you find yourself doing alone most of the time, but it's so easy to invite your kids to share in the action and delegate simple tasks to them. It's also a great opportunity to teach your kids about nutrition and teamwork. 
  • Ride bikes, rollerblade, dance, go for walks, or do anything else that gets you and your kids moving. Exercise is healthy, but it can also be both creative and fun. 
  • Have conversations and share stories with your kids. Kids often love to learn about their family history or even just about what their parents were like when they were kids. 
If you have more than one child, try to carve out time that you can spend with each of your kids individually. This might be something that you can only do once in a while depending on your parenting plan, but whatever time and attention you can give to each of your kids individually is special. Treat your child to a special dinner date for just the two of you, and as often as possible read with each of your kids individually before bed. Both events allow for an opportunity for you and each of your kids to share moments that are just for you two.
 
While there are healthy ways to spend the time you share with your kids, there are also a number of things you can do which could cause more harm than good in the long run. Showering them with gifts, indulging every single one of their desires, and simply allowing them to get away with breaking rules are all unhealthy ways to spend time with your kids. Even though it might seem like a good idea as a way to gain more of their affection, it also has the potential to encourage problematic behaviour later on. Maintain the rules that they are familiar with, and keep them on a routine that they are used to. A regular schedule of meals, school time, and sleep are some of the most important elements of the routine to uphold.
 
Quality Time Shared While Apart
A shared Parenting Agreement outlines how parents spend time with and care for their children separately Whilst your own commitments and the agreements listed in your shared Parenting Agreement are likely to limit how often you can contact your children while they are not in you care, there are ways to share your affection for your children even when you can’t physically be together. Leave a note with them to read later on that tells them how much you enjoyed your time together and that you look forward to next time. Give them a special toy, keepsake, blanket or small item that they can bring with them between homes which will remind them of you each time they play with it. Take and frame photos of fun times to help everyone remember the special time you’ve spent together.
 
Be reliable, call at the times arranged and remember to congratulate them on milestones and achievements. Ask about special events when you are unable to attend so that they know they are you number one priority.
 
Special moments shared as kids grow up become memories treasured throughout life. ​
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